The Overstuffed Chair

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”–Thoreau

This quote has been ringing in my head this morning, and that’s a long time, especially considering that I woke up at 4:30am. My eyes opened and there I was, bingo, completely awake. Not my choice, especially considering the things I want to accomplish today, but there it is.

I became overwhelmed last night at the habits I’ve become used to. I mindlessly complete tasks, hurrying onto the next one before I’m even satisfied that the current one is complete. The rushing mentality has got to go. It’s not making me happy.

So, have begun to dig into Brother Lawrence’s reading again, and will dust off my copy of The Pace of a Hen by Josephine Moffett Benton, which is a wonderful read for women at home. A search at Amazon for this book, just now, found several copies, but they aren’t cheap. The lowest was in the $12 dollar range before shipping. Still, well-worth the investment. That book is like a much-needed breath of fresh air, let me tell you.

Anyway, that’s where my head is. Many of you are likely shaking yours, remembering the countless times I’ve said almost the exact same thing as I’m writing here. Life does tend to repeat itself, but fortunately the Lord is very forgiving of our foolishness and is always open to our attempts, no matter how feeble at reconciling them.

Have been out of touch for a bit, and I blame my desperate need for sleep. Hard to attempt to hold up others when you’re sleep-deprived yourself. But with our homeschooling year now at a close, I’m a bit excited at doing new things, having more energy and relaxing a bit. Summer brings change and I’m glad of that.
Anyway, not much to say since I’m not placing any demands on myself today. Don’t want to think too hard!

Just popping in to say I’ll be around more frequently.

“Housekeeping done incorrectly still blesses your family.”–Flylady

When I wrote last night’s post, I wasn’t expecting any comments about it, but have had several. Guess that’s what I get for being absent from this list for so long!

I want to tell you my motive here. By sharing about my neighbor, I wanted to stir you up. To see life from a different point of view. It’s not meant as chastisement by any means, but I think it’s good to have our comfort zones wrenched out from under us from time to time.

Now, I don’t have housekeeping down pat. The area under our kitchen sink is atrocious, our bedroom closet is stuffed full, and the oven is way overdue in needing to be cleaned. Way overdue. But, my point was that there has to be a level of care in a house that shows that we seek to please the folks we live with. I hear about women who don’t greet their husbands when they come home from a long day at work. They go on about their business, and it might as well be a stranger coming in the door for the greeting he’s given. True, some marriages are suffering and a hug and kiss is the last thing anyone wants to give, but still….isn’t it worth a try?

As life on the outside gets more challenging, it seems wise to build up our own homes. To go to a little extra trouble. I’m not asking for anything outlandish, but for you to care. It’s easy to get into the habit of letting things go. I was sharing with one of you (you know who you are!) about how I try to tidy up the house (just surface stuff) after dinner and right before bed, in case things have gotten messy in the meantime. It always has. That’s my trick for maintaining some sort of order. And you see the Flylady quote up above. She teaches getting things straight before bed too. I’ve found that the mental strain of waking up to mess seems to drain my day. It makes sense too, if you think about it.

Just try to maintain some sort of order. That’s all I’m talking about.

“When we traded homemaking for careers, we were implicitly promised economic independence and worldly influence. But a devil of a bargain it has turned out to be in terms of daily life. We gave up the aroma of warm bread rising, the measured pace of nurturing routines, the creative task of molding our families’ tastes and zest for life; we received in exchange the minivan and the Lunchable.” –Barbara Kingsolver

Just wanted to pop into your lives to mention something. I’ve been helping out occasionally for a young mother who lives nearby. She comes from a dysfunctional family, as does her husband. There’s been childhood abuse with him and neither of their parents are on their first marriages. It’s been hard. But what I wanted to mention concerns something I’m running into with this mother, and it’s a frustrating issue. It’s like this girl wasn’t ever told by her own mother how to run a house. So, I want to encourage you all about something.

This wife and mother does very little in the house in terms of housekeeping during the day. I remember times like that with small children, when my husband would come home and see a house either as bad as, or worse than when he left it. Back then I’d just shrug and say I was doing my best. But now I do things a bit differently. True, my energy level is better, but still, it seems unfair for a husband to walk into total disarray when he comes home from work. Sure, the life of a mother is hard and continuous, but if we remember that our husbands have been ‘out there’ all day, then maybe our own attitudes will be a bit better. We do have the luxury of naptime, a safe place to be, and more besides.

This mother I’m talking about doesn’t prepare the house before her husband comes home, and he’s the one who makes dinner. Almost all of the time. I ask you, is that even fair?

Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I believe in romancing a marriage. Of course I intend to be married to my husband forever. And rather than take him for granted, it seems wise to continuously court him. To not assume too much. I can overlook part of this mother’s behavior, but it’s damaging her homelife. I’m not sure she’s aware of it, but the signs are there.

Take some time and try to imagine what you and the house look like when your own husband opens the door in the evening. Would you be pleased at what he sees? See it from his point of view. We make a huge mistake when we take one another for granted. And it swings both ways. If you’re feeling neglected, maybe a few tips in this direction will cause him to look at you more closely.

Just something to think about.

“A happy life must be to a great extent a quiet life, for it is only in an atmosphere of quiet that true joy lives.”–Bertrand Russell

Noise is exhausting, and in a life with children, this is most often the case. We wake up to noise (no matter how jolly), and spend the day listening to our children play, argue and chatter. It can be wearing. But what makes a balance is finding a way to tuck in some quiet. I’ve told you before—just about 15 or 20 minutes of absolute silence can certainly heal a fretful mom. Such a short time, and so restoring. Remember this….it might come in handy today! And rather than greet your husband this evening with a stressed expression on your face, take time. It’s always a good idea.